Hello World!
“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Drifting through the wind wanting to start again, Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin like a a house of cards one blow from caving in, Do you ever feel already buried deep, six feet under screams and no-one seems to hear a thing…” -Katy Perry, Firework
Just like the words of this song you may find it cheesy but as human beings we often feel like that about the problems in our lives. Whether someone talks about their problems or doesn’t we all have our own unique non-verbal ways of saying we’re not okay. For some it’s isolation,others drugs, some it’s making an even bigger body count, and some people become butchers. We are all unique, we are all different which means we will react to situations differently and feel the weight of things harder or softer than others. The things which may not seem such a big deal to you may be life wreckers for someone else.
As human beings we are different from other animals we have emotional needs as well as physical and that’s okay. Emotions DO NOT make you weaker, they give you a new kind of strength you just have to know how to channel them. Often sometimes we try to pretend that we’re these “tough people” we don’t feel anything with hearts made of stone. Not admitting to ourselves that we’re hurt and feeling pain. Most people won’t say anything to anyone when their hurt not because your afraid of it being spread but because you don’t want to admit it to yourself and your afraid of someone seeing you vulnerable but, I’m here to tell you that the longer you keep it inside the more pain you’ll be in to fix something and to recover you first have to admit that theirs something wrong. The first step on the road to recovery is acceptance. So even if your not talking about it to someone else at least admit it to yourself.
Other times we don’t even come out and say it we try and let our actions and body language talk for us kinda like a silent SOS. Hoping that someone will notice that we’re not alright or that we’re acting off and when people don’t immediately notice that, we start to capsize like a house of cards. Honestly speaking from personal experience I know how hard it is to come out and say what’s going on.
A couple years ago I went through something similar only I was a butcher. I had a really rough child-hood and I didn’t think much about the stuff that had happened to me until it actually started affecting me as I grew older. I hated myself, my body, my personality, everything… I had really bad self esteem issues. I didn’t think much of it honestly I thought it wasn’t that big a deal until I started having suicidal thoughts. Because of child hood trauma and bullying the things that happened and things that were said to me started to take root, to the point it in my head it was who I was. But when the day I sat down and listened to my thoughts I realized that I was completely in control of the kind of impact what had happened had on my life. I could use my experiences to grow and make me stronger or I could use them as an excuse to define everything I did and how I reacted.
I know you probably feel like your not being heard and that your breaking down on the inside and tired of putting up a happy face just so no one will worry. But honey, that’s why you have friends and family.Their people who are there to take care of you and look after you in ways that you can’t and to comfort you where you are alone and help you when you go down. You just have to let them in…
Whatever you may be going through you WILL get through it because you and ONLY you can control the impact that it has on your life and the people in it. So don’t fret your not alone if you have an experience you’d like to share or something your going through feel free to do so, you can email me or respond to this and I will respond privately.
Much Love, Karimii Online going Offline…
Karimii Online 