Hello World!
Last night I had time to think about some of the root causes of some of my actions, habits and behavior.
And it hit me that everything has to start somewhere. Behind every habit whether its healthy or not there’s a story (I’ll lean further into this in another post). As human beings a lot of our behavior and characteristics are shaped by our first’s like, if you were to go to a sea food bar for the first time and eat some sushi that didn’t sit well with your stomach and after that you just can’t eat sushi. This is because subconsciously your brain associates how you felt, your emotions, and how your body reacted, with particular experience. Now this can be either good or bad depending on the situation but if you didn’t have such a great feeling or your body reacted in a negative way to what happened ,subconsciously you build up walls to protect yourself.
For example: When I was younger I used to like this guy, he was my first crush. He was a family friend and we went to the same bible study where we and some of our other family friends would spend time together. Now over the summer holidays him, myself and my other friend(let’s call her, Peaches) would work at Peaches mom’s store for a couple of hours for some extra cash. On the way back he’d sometimes drop me off home, now on one of these days I decided to come clean about how I felt….
Let’s just say it did not go according to how I had planned things in my head. He told me that he did not feel the same way about me, said that I wasn’t his type, and told me that he like one of our mutual friends. That was the first and last time I ever confessed my feelings to someone.
Your first rejection from your first crush is not the best feeling ever, quite frankly I was crushed (haha get it!) But since then to this day, I have never been able to talk about my romantic feelings towards someone because in that moment when I got rejected my brain subconsciously associated the pain I was feeling with being honest about my feelings.
You may or may not realize this but as human beings our first’s, build the frame work of how we act, react, our habits, and how we see the world.
(Hold on to your cell phone’s, I’m about to contradict myself)
It is extremely hard to try and re-wire your subconscious after a bad experience but you shouldn’t let your first time doing something be your last.
Quick story: When I was little I got bad constipation and the hospital I was staying at gave me this weird powdery medicine called, Movical. Now your supposed to mix this medicine in water and drink it but let me tell you the taste of that medicine was revolting, and I was supposed to be drinking TWO JUGS of it a day(yes, you read that right) so at a point the doctors realized that I wasn’t drinking it (know it was stupid but I could not drink that thing I used to flush it down the toilet) and so they devised a scheme to be mixing the medicine with passion juice (it was even worse). After I got discharged, for years I could not drink passion juice because I subconsciously associated the taste of passion juice with the medicine but years later it is now one of my favorite juices.
Moral of the story:
It may be hard but don’t let one experience you had define how you live the rest of your life.
Karimii Online going Offline…
PS. Here is a picture of the jug I was supposed to be emptying.
Karimii Online 
👏🏾👏🏾
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