Hello my loves! It’s been a while since I last wrote something on this page and a lot has happened since then. Honestly, I completely forgot about this page 😦 probably because my main inspiration for writing vanished or rather left…

It’s been a rough couple of month’s but to be honest I feel like I’ve learned and grown so much :). I rediscovered myself, lost myself and found myself again. I know that probably doesn’t make sense but it will in bit.

As human beings we are constantly changing, evolving and growing and sometimes the changes happen suddenly instead of gradually over time like we’re used too. It’s scary. A ll that change happening at once…it gets over whelming and confusing. Most of the time it’s because you don’t even realize what the heck is going on with you. The way you see the world, view people, friendships,relationships and even life in general is going to change. The fact of the matter is you ARE NOT the same person you were last year. Sometimes the changes within ourselves aren’t even as obvious as we might think and we might find ourselves having to dig deep to find them or even sometimes it only takes one unsuspecting moment to realize it. What I’ve found that has worked for me these past couple of months is to try and embrace the change and submerge yourself in it rather than fight it but be careful not to loose yourself completely in it. One way of insuring this is making sure you have a strong enough support system, people who have and will stand by you while you got through your changes and support you and make sure you don’t become your alter ego;) This is very important because sometimes these people remind us of the things that we might forget or take for granted and I think its good to have an anchor to help you stay steady as you go through your storm of change 🙂

Until next time…

This is KarimiiOnline going Offline

XOXO

Hello World!

Today I have a question for you guys…when you look in the mirror what do you see?

Do you see someone beautiful/handsome, someone who regardless of the demons they face or have faced still finds the courage to stand, smile, and be there for the people they love? Or Do you see someone who is broken beyond repair, and doesn’t deserve love?

As human beings we sometimes forget how much power our words can have. Your words have POWER. The power to create and the power to destroy and what differentiates the two is how that power is used. Whether that power is used to inspire and motivate or whether it is used to tear down and destroy.

Quick story:

I didn’t exactly have the best childhood. When I was younger part of the bullying I went through was verbal each day in school my breaks, lunches and even some class times were always full of remarks from my classmates like “You’re ugly,your hideous, spider legs for hair, your cursed, Rat, Rabbit Teeth, Fat, no one will ever love you, female dog, weirdo, animal, stupid, idiot etc.” At first the remarks didn’t bother me that much but, when you stay in the same school for 7 years with the same bullies who find new method’s of tormenting you the older they get eventually what they say ends being your reality. Over time I began to define and see myself the exact way the called me. When I looked in the mirror I saw a stupid, hideous beast who would never have anyone to love her.

So believe me when I tell you I know the damage words can do….

So be careful what you say because you never know the effect your words may have on someone. And the next time you wanna say something as your self whether you saying what your saying to build someone up or to tear them down…

KarimiiOnline going Offline…

Hello World!

I’m pretty sure that most of you are confused by the title so for those of you who don’t know the story of Pandora’s box, here is the story about Pandora and her box.

Sometimes in life we try new things and they end up with a bad result or hurting us, like the first time Pandora opened that box and in most cases we never want to do it again because of the results we got the first time, we never want to feel the way we felt, hurt and vulnerable.

But if you look at Pandora regardless of what she thought the outcome would be she still opened the box again and that led to hope being let into the world. So even though its hard and scary maybe you should try re-opening what your version of Pandora’s Box is because you never know what may happen and it’s scary I know but sometimes jumping into the unknown can have better results than we imagine :)….

KarimiiOnline going Offline….

Hello World!

Last night I had time to think about some of the root causes of some of my actions, habits and behavior.

And it hit me that everything has to start somewhere. Behind every habit whether its healthy or not there’s a story (I’ll lean further into this in another post). As human beings a lot of our behavior and characteristics are shaped by our first’s like, if you were to go to a sea food bar for the first time and eat some sushi that didn’t sit well with your stomach and after that you just can’t eat sushi. This is because subconsciously your brain associates how you felt, your emotions, and how your body reacted, with particular experience. Now this can be either good or bad depending on the situation but if you didn’t have such a great feeling or your body reacted in a negative way to what happened ,subconsciously you build up walls to protect yourself.

For example: When I was younger I used to like this guy, he was my first crush. He was a family friend and we went to the same bible study where we and some of our other family friends would spend time together. Now over the summer holidays him, myself and my other friend(let’s call her, Peaches) would work at Peaches mom’s store for a couple of hours for some extra cash. On the way back he’d sometimes drop me off home, now on one of these days I decided to come clean about how I felt….

Let’s just say it did not go according to how I had planned things in my head. He told me that he did not feel the same way about me, said that I wasn’t his type, and told me that he like one of our mutual friends. That was the first and last time I ever confessed my feelings to someone.

Your first rejection from your first crush is not the best feeling ever, quite frankly I was crushed (haha get it!) But since then to this day, I have never been able to talk about my romantic feelings towards someone because in that moment when I got rejected my brain subconsciously associated the pain I was feeling with being honest about my feelings.

You may or may not realize this but as human beings our first’s, build the frame work of how we act, react, our habits, and how we see the world.

(Hold on to your cell phone’s, I’m about to contradict myself)

It is extremely hard to try and re-wire your subconscious after a bad experience but you shouldn’t let your first time doing something be your last.

Quick story: When I was little I got bad constipation and the hospital I was staying at gave me this weird powdery medicine called, Movical. Now your supposed to mix this medicine in water and drink it but let me tell you the taste of that medicine was revolting, and I was supposed to be drinking TWO JUGS of it a day(yes, you read that right) so at a point the doctors realized that I wasn’t drinking it (know it was stupid but I could not drink that thing I used to flush it down the toilet) and so they devised a scheme to be mixing the medicine with passion juice (it was even worse). After I got discharged, for years I could not drink passion juice because I subconsciously associated the taste of passion juice with the medicine but years later it is now one of my favorite juices.

Moral of the story:

It may be hard but don’t let one experience you had define how you live the rest of your life.

Karimii Online going Offline…

PS. Here is a picture of the jug I was supposed to be emptying.

Hey guys! (I know it’s been a while…but I’m back now and this time for good!)

People will change and along with them their relationships and the way they view the world. Often at times some of us get caught up in the backwash of that change and are pulled back into the sea. And honestly that place is confusing and it hurts like hell the further and further you drift from the person.

That doesn’t mean that you have done anything wrong or that your the problem. As human beings we change everyday. We grow, we learn, we adapt, as a result of the environments we are in and the people in our lives. But just because the change happened as a result of you being in someone’s life before the change doesn’t mean that after the change you’ll be in their life. I’m not saying every time someone changes someone has to leave but if they do, it probably means that your part in their life and theirs in yours has been completed. And if that ends up being the end of the road for your friendship it is extremely okay to cry, to hurt, to feel heart broken I mean your only human and what you felt was real. C.S. Lewis once said that there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind. The same goes for friendships.

Often if your caught up in the backwash you’ll probably cling fast to what you had and all the memories you had with that person. But understand this what you had then isn’t what you have now.

What you need to do is let the person go… I’m not saying that it’s gonna be easy because it sure as hell is not and it’ll take time. I’m not saying forget everything that happened and pretend that they didn’t exist I’m saying accept what was happening and what’s not happening . Look back on it and say ‘yeah we had a good run while it lasted.’ The two for you met for a reason, the reason you had a relationship/friendship was for a reason. And that has made you into the person you are today and has probably made you discover thing about yourself that you never knew.

You are not the problem, it is not your fault!

Karimii Online going Offline….

Hey Guys!

The other day a friend of mine recently came back and their gonna leave soon and they don’t know when or whether their coming back. Honestly speaking my friend and I have history and they’re one of the few people I can say for sure that I know they have my back and and their like family. With everything that is going on in my life right now that was just honestly the final blow. And I broke down. One of my teachers found me and we talked and she told me that, it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be scared. Entering new chapters of relationships with people is scary af and it’s okay to be sad about it. Your allowed to feel sad and scared because one chapter of your friendship is closing and another one may or may not open. Honestly I’ve not had the best history in long distant relationships. I’ve had people walking out the door, people betray me, and even people leave me in the dark. But regardless of what your history has been with other people if you really care about someone whether or not you’ll see each other you give them the benefit of the doubt. And if that friendship is really real it will survive through the different trials and barriers that life throws at you. If your both willing to put in the effort because you love each other (love is not just for boyfriends and girlfriends). The type of love that y’all don’t even have to say it. The type of love that y’all are willing to fight for each other, defend one another, be patient and understanding with each other. Type of Love with Loyalty.

It’s not wrong to feel something when something is changing in your relationship with someone if you didn’t I honestly say ask yourself whether your friendship is real.

But talk to your friends about how you feel, it’s okay to admit it. I mean hey!

We’re only human 🙂

Karimii Online going Offline…

Hello World!

Did you ever have one of those moments when your were a kid and you’d watch a super-hero movie or Karate Kid and then immediately after you were done watching you’d go outside and “train”. Or you’d watch like a music video or see somebodies post on Instagram or something and like try to do almost exactly the same thing?

That’s because most of the time whatever we see people doing what other people or we ourselves admire or applaud we subconsciously try to remake/remodel ourselves in that way. I’m not saying this is a bad thing or that we’re “copy cats” I mean, you probably haven’t realized it yet but most of the things you wear, music you listen too,things you buy, places you go, and even people you hang out with were either recommended to you by someone else or you liked what you saw.

Just like a glass full of water, that water is our personal essence, our originality, our “innocence” but, when a drop of ink comes in it changes that water. The older you get the more prone you are to be influenced by other people and the things they do.

You’ve probably seen a lot of Be Yourself quotes and slogans over the years so I’m not going into that. Honestly it’s hard to create your own identity. But, before you do that its important to figure out what is your identity? You can’t put something out there if you have nothing to put. Take time for yourself, figure out who you are and show the rest of the world later( or don’t either way do it for you). I mean your glass already has ink in it so now it’s up to you to decide what your going to do with that water and whether the ink in it is going to bring good into your life of bad. I can’t tell you who you are or what to do with your life because the only person who can do that is you. Take control of your glass, maybe even tweek the color of the ink I don’t know its up you. What do you wanna do with that glass and how is that ink in it going to affect your life? Think about it…